Everything I Know About Love at 21

The older I get the more I realize how little I know. Experience has taught me a few things about the nuances of love, taking me deeper into the mysteries of what it means to receive and provide love to others, making each other’s individual worlds warmer. When I think of the journey I’ve been on as I ponder love, I envision myself diving into an ocean whose depths are like an unfolding cave, jewels glistening along the walls and shiny pearls hidden in corners. But in this search there are also stingrays and sea urchins. Sometimes the love you give is not reciprocated. Sometimes the love you receive is not accepted as it should be. Even when the venom is extricated, it can feel like the experience lingers like a tattoo. And so, like Dory, I just keep swimming. 

I now know that love is calm, not the wild rush that comes in a teenage whirlwind of desire and excitement. Love is consistency, communication, deep conversations, and saying you’re sorry. Love is not tip-toeing around the truth, it’s facing it. Love is the gentle look that doesn’t just say, “I’m here,” but also communicates that the way you feel makes sense. 

Love is a trip to an art museum in the middle of a packed day. Love is a relaxed car ride, an adventure to a place you’ve never explored. Love is wandering around the familiar, being regulars at a coffee shop or diner. Love is hearing and sharing your story. Love isn’t just climbing mountains, it’s holding your hand when the boulder gets steep. Love is learning another’s language, reaching for the same book with cracked binding and yellowed edges, and staying after the birthday candle’s been blown. Love is returning home, whether that’s a place or a person, after traveling, discovering just how inviting home truly is. 

There’s so much I still don’t know about love. What I do know is what I’ve found through friends who I now think of as family. 

Love is a journey, and it’s only beginning.